As you know, much of the government shut down Monday at midnight. Don't panic; it's not all bad news. Here are The Best Things About the Government Shutdown.
Now the empty Congress building can be turned into one of those Halloween superstores.
With the IRS closed, we don't have to pay taxes anymore. I assume. Right?
President Obama's been reduced to a powerless, empty figurehead. So, no change.
No more government means no more laws. And no more laws means no more wearing pants in public.
Ted Cruz's microphone is SHUT OFF.
Kids don't have to argue with their parents about whether to go to Legoland or some stupid museum.
We get to look at that sexy Wolf Blitzer all day, every day!
No speed limits! I think?
John McCain now has the free time to play a zombie in the new season of "The Walking Dead".
Since it's no longer able to afford the water bill, the White House will shut down its sprinklers and Michelle's stupid garden will finally die.
Now that he's got some free time, Obama may FINALLY get to play some golf.
John Boehner can finally get that spray tan he so desperately needs.
The closure of national parks may give Americans a chance to spend a few hours sitting at home, watching TV, instead of CONSTANTLY wasting our lives going outdoors and exercising.
Since state parks and monuments are closed, now's your chance to finally sneak in and chisel your face into Mount Rushmore.
More time now to play "Words with Furloughed Friends".
Non-essential government workers will be off. So enjoy your rest, Joe Biden!
You'll get even more comments when you wear your hilarious "Federal Booty Inspector" T-shirt.