Going to a Super Bowl party this Sunday? If so, why not "super impress your friends" (???) . . . with The Top Surprising Facts About the Super Bowl.
This year's game will be played inside Pharrell Williams' Grammy hat.
The Broncos will have three replacement necks on the bench for Peyton Manning, just in case.
Off the field Peyton Manning kicks puppies . . . while Richard Sherman cradles orphaned crack babies.
Janet Jackson still gets invited to the game every year, but her nipples do not.
Super Bowls are typically played someplace warm, like Florida, California, or Oprah's embrace.
Construction crews are furiously working to expand MetLife Stadium . . . so it can accommodate Joe Buck's enormous sense of self-satisfaction.
The winning team will be whichever one you bet against. Because you're a loser.
The football Peyton Manning throws is more edible than the pizza he endorses.
The Vince Lombardi trophy has a creamy milk chocolate center.
This is Denver's seventh Super Bowl. But their fans are too stoned to remember the previous six.
If you're at a Super Bowl party, and some jackass tells everyone to quiet down during timeouts because he's only watching for the commercials, you're legally allowed to kick him in the nuts.
Betting on the coin toss is a fun way to show everyone else at your Super Bowl party you're a hopeless loser whose life is filled with profound sadness.
O.J. Simpson is pulling for Peyton Manning. He just has a fondness for old white Broncos.
People get so high at Super Bowl parties that they'll actually eat Papa John's pizza.
Tailgating before a game is easy for many Americans since they're already living in a car.
Erin Andrews will be on the sidelines, and thankfully, NOT in a courtroom, suing me for shooting that keyhole video in her hotel room.
More guacamole is consumed on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day . . . besides Martin Luther King Day.