Official Call In Sick Day

 

The big news is the flu epidemic across the nation.  Wease talks about how if you're ever gonna call in sick when you aren't today would be the day... you get a 3 day weekend, and no one can doubt you're being sick because the flu is all we're hearing about.  We talk about how badly we feel as radio people when we call into work, because people think our job is so easy.  WE also find out a weird piece of info... potential cure for flu is crystal meth.  We do not recommend this.  Did you hear that The Bee Gees have remade their classic "Night Fever" in honor of the flu epidemic.

 

 

Not sure how this happened, but we wind up talking about peanut butter, so Wease & Billy turn the younger show members on to a classic oldie about peanut butter. 

 

 

 

Harry Gibbs With Sports

 

Harry is still filling in for an ailing John Ditullio... we're not sure if Johnny has the flu, broke his arm, injured his junk banging too much, or is faking it because he can.

 

A discussion of the story that came out yesterday regarding the suicide of Junior Seau.

 

The National Institutes of Health examined the brain of NFL legend JUNIOR SEAU, and found that it was pretty messed up after a 20-year career in the pros.  Seau committed suicide last May by shooting himself in the HEART . . . possibly so that his brain could be studied.  After the results were released, the NFL said, quote, "We have work to do, and we're doing it."

 

The divisional playoffs are this weekend, and Harry gives us a great betting tip... Ravens over the Broncos in Denver.  In his playoff history Peyton Manning is 0-3 with 1 TD and 7 INTs in games where the temperature is under 40 degrees.  Forecasted temp during the game is 17.  Wease is on board and will be betting.

 

 

 Psycho Football Player Cut By Steelers

 

The Pittsburgh Steelers released running back CHRIS RAINEY after he was arrested for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend in Gainesville, Florida yesterday.

 

 

--Someone called 911 after witnessing Rainey attack his girlfriend after she took his cell phone.

 

 

--The woman jumped into the car of Rainey's roommate, but Rainey dragged her out and slapped her across the face . . . causing both of them to fall to the ground. 

 

 

--The woman got up and tried to run, but Rainey chased her down and grabbed her, causing them both to hit the ground again.  Wease makes the observation that if she outruns a Steelers running back he  would be the worst back in the league.

 

 

--No one was seriously injured, but Rainey was booked on a charge of simple battery.

 

 

--Then came the news from the Steelers.  The team said, quote, "Chris Rainey's actions this morning were extremely disappointing.  Under the circumstances and due to this conduct, Chris will no longer be a member of the Pittsburgh Steelers."

 

 

--Rainey was a rookie this year, after being drafted in the fifth round out of the University of Florida.  He scored two touchdowns for the Steelers.

 

 

--Oh, and there's this . . . Rainey was suspended by the Gators for a short time in 2010 for FELONY STALKING.  Among other things, he texted this to a woman . . . quote, "Time to die, [B-word]."  Wimmens may be crazy, but this dude is psycho.

 

Congrats on the Steelers swift action, which may have been partly due to the Jovan Belcher situation a couple months ago, but are curious what would've happened if it had been Ben Roethlisberger, who has had a history of problems... like 3 rape charges... but is the star white QB.

 

 

 

Doug With News

- Flu Widespread

- Fired Music Director Meets Supporters

- Teens Arrested For Burglary Of Irondeqoit Hots

- More Details On Proposed Upstate Casinos

 

 

Jimmy Schubert Is Back

 

 

Schubie is back and on fire again, talking about rude comedy club audience members, traveling to Ireland, playing golf.  The last time Wease went golfing he broke his leg.  Emily asks "How do you break your leg golfing"?  He fell off the ballwasher... Good night!!!

 

Earlier, during the set about the Roethlisberger, Wease brought up the subject of women raping men, and how he thinks it's not possible.  Shubes says he had been raped, and tells us a story about rooming with a  female comedian (whom he calls a 7 with big boobs, which makes her an 8).  She woke him up in the middle of the night and took advantage of him... he says his little fella is always ready for action, but he didn't really want any.  No means no... although we don't completely believe Shubie's "No".

 

Turns out Jimmy isn't the only guy we know that's been taking advantage of against his will.  We talk to Emily's boyfriend Garrett, who claims that it's happened to him twice.  The first time was a story much like Shubie's... a late night drunken encounter where he says he felt used.  The second time was outside in a lawnchair where a girl "took her virginity on him" (his words).  Yeah, we're sure he hated it.

 

More Schubie

 

Jimmy tells the story of the time he was part of the Opie and Anthony Comedy Tour at an outdoor amphitheater in Philly, and was booed by 10,000 people.  The O&A audience was looking to cause trouble, and make themselves the show.  Comedian Bill Burr did eventually manage to shut down the idiots that were heckling all the comics by going off on them in a legenday set that you can see HERE (Beware of lots of naughty words).

 

Honey Boo Boo

 

On Wednesday night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live, Brad Paisley, country music’s leading funny man (sorry, Blake Shelton), debuted his new theme song for TLC’s Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Watch it below. The whip was a nice touch.

 

 

 

 

 

A long discussion of how nowadays people don't want to get famous with talent and hard work... everyone wants to be "notorious".  So many untalented people gain so much attention thru sex tapes, reality TV, etc....  Shubie makes lots of funny jokes at the expense of Honey Boo Boo and her fat family. 

 

Brooksie tells the story of leaving his girlfriends house last night, and discovering his car was gone.  He and Diane wound up chasing a tow truck they had spotted down the street, thinking that maybe the truck had taken it but lost it a red light.  He wound up calling 911.  While waiting for the police he and Diane went outside to look for them.  Looking left.... looking right.... looking left again.... right again.... There is Brooksie's car!!!  HE FORGOT WHERE HE PARKED!!!  Dope.

 

Geezers Vs. Douchebags

 

A Friday edition of GVD because Shubie loves the game.

 

Questions from Geezers To Douchebags...

Yesterday would’ve been the 70th birthday of the singer-songwriter that had huge hits with songs like “Bad Bad Leroy Brown” and “Time In A Bottle”… who is this?   Jim Croce... Brooksie gets it because he looked at Billy's computer before going into the studio.

 

Emma Stone and Teddy Geiger were once involved in a remake of the classic sitcom The Partridge Family… name any two actors from the original series.  They didn't know David Cassidy, Danny Bonaduce, Shirley Jones, or the rest.

 

What legendary actor starred in such films as Casablanca and The African Queen?  Pauly guessed Humphrey Bogart because he saw the name in a piece of prep recently... He was right. 

 

Questions from Douchebags to Geezers...

What is the Book It program?  A program sponsored by Pizza Hut where students read books in the summer and gained points they could redeem for pizza that the Geezers were unaware of. 

 

In question #2 The Geezers couldn't recognize the music from the Legends Of Zelda videogame.

 

What was "The Rachel"?  The Geezers did know about the hairstyle that Jennifer Aniston wore on "Friends"

 

 

Teacher-Student Sex Mystery 

 

 

BUFFALO, NY-   A former teacher on parole for having an inappropriate relationship with one of her students is on the run.

 

Parole officers say Cara Dickey cut off her ankle monitoring bracelet and disappeared.

 

Dickey, a former South Buffalo Charter School teacher admitted to having an inappropriate relationship with a student who was 14-years-old at the time.  Police said Dickey and the boy had a suicide pact at the time, but could not complete it because she was arrested.

 

Parole officers say they recently received information that Dickey may be involved with another underage male.

 

Crimestoppers is offering a reward up to $1,000 for information leading to the arrest of Cara Dickey.  Their tipline is:  716-867-6161.

 

Jimmy wonders where the banging teachers were when he was a kid, he would've impressed them by fingerpainting with his tongue.

 

More Jimmy Schubert

Need some jokes about the Academy Awards, the Brent Musberger controversy, Taylor Swift, Wayne Newton, Al Roker, and more?  We have them.

 

Plugs/Next Week

Absolutely go see Jimmy Shubert at The Comedy Club this weekend.... Wease will be at MCH Saturday from 3-5pm for his annual Monroe Community Hospital party... we'll be back next week with Tools, Doug, Geezers Vs. Dbags, Redneck News, Ask Wease, the cast of Impractical Jokers, and much more.  It's nice to be important, but more important to be nice.  See ya.