Monday With Marianne

A new era of The Wease Show begins.... Marianne Sierk joins us as the newest sidekick, and so you can know a little bit about her...

Marianne is a Rochester native who is returning home after a number of years in New York City and Los Angeles where she found success in television, theatre, and standup.  Her TV credits include regular roles on NBC and ABC (“Comics Unleashed”), VH1 (“I Love The 80s” & “I Love The New Millenium”), TruTV (“The Smoking Gun Show” and “World’s Dumbest”), Comedy Central (“Live at Gotham”), G4 (“Web Soup”), and many more. 
A graduate of Syracuse University with a B.S. in Drama (ah, she’ll fit right in), Marianne has performed with improv groups, in theatrical productions, and in numerous national TV commercials (including my all-time favorite Verizon spot, where she’s MVP Sara Fiske!
Wease and Pauly both watched the HBO movie starring Al Pacino as legendary music producer Phil Spector, which they both liked a lot.  Wease and Billy tell Pauly a little about Phil's music, and some of the other crazy stuff he's done, like pull a gun on John Lennon.

Tools With Sports
A breakdown of weekend hoops including 15 seed Florida Gulf Coast becoming the Cinderella of the tourney, becoming the first 15 seed to make the Sweet 16.  We're also rooting for FGC because the wife of coach Andy Enfield is former super model Amanda Marcum.

Syracuse also makes the Sweet 16, where the will play Indiana.
On this date, at 7:46am, Wease guarantees that the Buffalo Sabres will make the playoffs this season.
Wease tells a story from his weekend, and a night where a friend tries to convince Wease to spend the night in a "suite" in a place Wease refers to as "The Bates Motel".... when Wease and Doreen walked into the room the bedbugs said "What's up bro?  Come on in."   Wease's buddy asked if the room had a jacuzzi... Wease said there was a bathtub he could fart in.  The Levin's decided to just go home after attending the charity event, rather than stay in this room, since Doreen hadn't been drinking and could drive.
Weed Country
Wease did something this weekend he rarely does... channel surf, and get caught up watching a reality show he'd never heard of before.  Weed Country goes inside the battle between pot growers and law enforcement in Northern California.  Marianne talks about the marijuana stores in California, and how you can also get candy, gum, baked goods, and more.

Brian Banks Gets Exonerated
seems that Wease saw a bunch of TV this weekend.  He also tells us about a piece on 60 Minutes that he found interesting.  Brian Banks was a college football player whose dream of playing in the NFL was ruined when he was falsely accused of rape, and spent 5 years in jail before being cleared.  Wease doesn't understand why they wind up thanking God.  Shouldn't God share the blame for the kid's problems.  He's the segment if you haven't seen it.

Shari Smith News
The tuition story leads to a long discussion of how long it takes to repay college loans, the salaries of men vs. women, and the viability of BOCES schools teaching people a trade.

According to a survey by MSN, if you spend a lot of money on dinner, you can guilt some women into sleeping with you. 


--The cutoff is $150.  One in five guys say that if they spend that much on dinner, they "expect" their date to sleep with them. 


--And it WORKS.  One in 14 women admit that if a guy spent that much on dinner, they would feel "obliged" to have sex with him.


--In other words, if you have $2,100 to spare . . . which is enough to take 14 women out for an expensive dinner . . . you have a good chance of getting some.  (???)


--Or, if you can't afford to spend that much on dinner, you can take the same girl out five times:  That's how many dates the average woman says she waits before having sex for the first time.  The average guy is ready after three.


--The average date costs a guy $71 . . . so five dates with a girl will cost you $355.

This leads to a discussion of online dating, Wease's classic story of using a computer service where he saw the pics of the women beforehand even though he wasn't supposed to, and Marianne telling about the time she met the most boring guy ever online.

Cosmo Sex Tips (Real or Fake)

Wease worries this "True Or False" segment supplied by one of our prep services  might be too dirty, but we're going for it anyway...

If you've ever flipped through a copy of "Cosmo", you know how ridiculous some of their sex tips are.  We've got a list of eight tips here.  See if you can guess which ones are REAL sex tips from "Cosmo", and which ones are fake.


#1.)  "Put a piece of mango in your mouth, then pleasure your guy 'down there.'  But don't try anything too acidic, because it could burn him."


--That one is a REAL "Cosmo" sex tip.  According to the article, you shouldn't swallow the mango.  You should keep it in your mouth WHILE you're going to town, because it adds more pressure.


#2.)  "Keep asking him if he's almost done, and act dissatisfied.  It's reverse psychology, and makes him last longer."  That one is . . . FAKE.  Thank God.


#3.)  "Dip your boobs in edible body paint, and use them to sponge paint his entire body. Then lick it off."  That one is . . . REAL.  And it also sounds like there's a lot of clean-up afterward.


#4.)  "Draw two attention-grabbing circles on your boobs using rhinestones and body glue for a "special night in."  That one is . . . REAL.


--They don't say what a "special night" entails.  But we assume it includes vacuuming up a lot of rhinestones.


#5.)  "When you're doing it, it's good to laugh and yell things like "Wheeee!" to let him know you're having fun."  That one is . . . FAKE.  Obviously, acting like you're on a Disneyland ride isn't a turn-on for most guys.  Notice we said MOST guys.


#6.)  "Dab some peppermint oil on your neck and between your boobs. Studies have found that the smell of mint has a revitalizing effect."  That one is . . . REAL.   And as a "bonus," they say you'll, quote, "smell extra fresh"


#7.)  "Order a pizza, then immediately start getting it on.  If he doesn't finish by the time the pizza gets there, he owes you a dinner out."  That one is . . . FAKE.


--But a lot of guys might actually go for that.  Just one dinner at a restaurant in exchange for guaranteed sex AND pizza?  Plus, it's almost guaranteed he'll be done in 30 minutes or less.


#8.)  "If Your Sex Toy Runs Out of Batteries, Use Your Electric Toothbrush or Your iPhone Instead."  That one is . . . REAL, believe it or not.


--Then when you're done . . . please . . . clean your iPhone or throw your toothbrush in a dumpster.

Marianne goes 8 for 8... I think we have a sexpert on our hands.


This is how things work on the Wease Show... Wease reads this joke from our joke sheet "Miley Cyrus and Snoop Lion are collaborating on a song.  I don't know what it will be about, but my guess is marijuana.  You?", and Wease mentions that he digs Miley.  Marianne asks why, and Wease's first answer is the sexy picture with side boob.

but then mentions he occasionally likes her music and hippie vibe, and enjoyed when he took Lucy to one of her concerts.
Wease Vs. Doreen Part 2,683,421
Why is Doreen mad at Wease this time?  They were at a charity event this weekend, and Wease was being his normal sociable self, chatting and drinking with everything and everyone in attendance.  Doreen felt a little slighted, like her husband should be spending more time with her.  She even thought about pulling a trick where she'd leave Wease there, making Wease get a ride home with Pauly and Ryann.  I'm sure there is much more to the situation, and I might not be giving a fair representation to Doreen's side, but I can only tell you what I'm feeling.
The Period Store

Two friends in New York named Ashley and Rubi were complaining about how much they hated their periods . . . so they decided to do something about it.  (--Their last names aren't given.)   



--They originally came up with the idea for an online store that sends monthly care packages to menstruating women back in 2010 . . . and on March 1st, they opened The Period Store. 



--Care packages include ibuprofen, tea, a five-by-seven piece of art that celebrates womanhood, and dessert.  You can also add feminine-hygiene products like tampons, pads and sponges. 



--Prices start at $15 a month and go as high as $30, depending on how large a care package you want . . . and the different sizes have period-themed names like Heavy and Light.

Jodi Arias Before And After
Wease brings up the Jodi Arias trial.  Jodi is a young women accused of killing her boyfriend Travis Alexander, and using an amnesia defense.  Wease notes that for her trial she has made herself more plain for her trial, thinking her motive would be that jurors would think the less attractive she is the less likely she would kill someone.  Here are some photographs of hot and not-so-hot.
We end the show by talking about last night's 60 Minutes.  Wease earlier told about the jailed football player, but also wanted to mention Anderson Cooper swimming with crocodiles and the story of the band Pussy Riot.
Tomorrow's Show
Join us tomorrow for all our normal combo of fun and information, find out who the winners were in the first round of the NCTnA, we'll speak to author Charles Rawlings about how banging other people can be good for your marriage, plus Redneck News/Flori-Duh.  It's nice to be important, but more important to be nice.  See ya.